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| My father, from a time before he knew I'd be around to look for him. |
The last hour or so was spent looking for my father. More
precisely, looking for his obituary online. I wanted to confirm his birthday
and birth dates are always in obituaries. (Admittedly my not knowing this with
certainty is another whole story.) His birthday was important because I was
about to start something on the day I thought was his birthday, and being a bit
of a magical thinker, it seemed to be an omen. Annny-wayyyy….
Without paying for the information, I couldn’t find it.
Anywhere. After trying multiple search terms, by
looking first for obits and then search by name, and everything I could think
of, I was stumped. So I looked for my mother’s obituary. It was nowhere to be found
either. Why? My father was referenced in his brother’s obituary. My mother was
referenced in my half-brother’s obituary. So by association they were shown to
exist. But suddenly, there was no evidence (at least none easily accessible and free)
to directly document their lives.
In the past, such things would have been tracked in a bible
in my family. My grandmother kept one up to date with such records as well as
marriages, births and similar life events. I’m pretty sure my mother did the
same. At least she did for a while. That slower time and the very act of writing
down, carefully because this was a book that was going to be handed on to the
next family record keeper, etched events and dates into memory. Now the pace of
life and the very rush of all things - important and unimportant, big and
small, memory-worthy and better forgotten - all jumble together. And it becomes
easy to forget because there is always a record you can look at. Except when
there isn’t. Or you can’t find it.
Time to stop relying so much on technology to do what it
just feels right that my brain should be able to do. Remember and document important events
in my life. Somehow that gene didn't get passed on. I hope it's not too late.
