When Technology Doesn't Remember

My father, from a time before he knew I'd be around to look for him.

The last hour or so was spent looking for my father. More precisely, looking for his obituary online. I wanted to confirm his birthday and birth dates are always in obituaries. (Admittedly my not knowing this with certainty is another whole story.) His birthday was important because I was about to start something on the day I thought was his birthday, and being a bit of a magical thinker, it seemed to be an omen. Annny-wayyyy….

Without paying for the information, I couldn’t find it. Anywhere. After trying multiple search terms, by looking first for obits and then search by name, and everything I could think of, I was stumped. So I looked for my mother’s obituary. It was nowhere to be found either. Why? My father was referenced in his brother’s obituary. My mother was referenced in my half-brother’s obituary. So by association they were shown to exist. But suddenly, there was no evidence (at least none easily accessible and free) to directly document their lives.

In the past, such things would have been tracked in a bible in my family. My grandmother kept one up to date with such records as well as marriages, births and similar life events. I’m pretty sure my mother did the same. At least she did for a while. That slower time and the very act of writing down, carefully because this was a book that was going to be handed on to the next family record keeper, etched events and dates into memory. Now the pace of life and the very rush of all things - important and unimportant, big and small, memory-worthy and better forgotten - all jumble together. And it becomes easy to forget because there is always a record you can look at. Except when there isn’t. Or you can’t find it.

Time to stop relying so much on technology to do what it just feels right that my brain should be able to do. Remember and document important events in my life. Somehow that gene didn't get passed on. I hope it's not too late.