Thanks to NPR.org for image. See related story below in the "confusion" link.

Untangling Confusion from Distraction

Confusion invites distraction.  Confusion - for me, the state of not being aware of and/or comfortable with what to do next -  isn't fun. I don't think it's fun for anyone. Spending time "what-iffing" is only so helpful. Often it leads to ruminating or being in a mental rut that blocks out productive inquiry or action. So when confused and beckoned by distractions, it's easy to say, "Sure, I'd love to spend a few minutes on something other that this thing that's making me unhappy/crazed/stuck (fill in your word...)." Then hours/days/months (fill in your word...) later, you look up and time has passed, confusion is still in the same place, solid and unchanged. If it's gone, you may find someone else made the decision for you, replacing the old topic with a whole new one.

In all candor, sitting with confusion is not something I gravitate toward. Confusion isn't comfortable and I want it over, gone. Being confused feels like I'm failing to figure out what to do and since we're all responsible for our lives, I'm failing at life. I've learned I feel this stuckness and reluctance to act because of things that happened to me decades ago when growing up, most likely not due to anything in front of me now. And intellectually I know that whether I like it or not, some things can't simply be thought through. They require engagement; they have to be lived and worked through. Acting with imperfect information, taking reasonable risks and possibly making a mistake, equal learning and progressing. Being distracted can cause decision making to be unnecessarily deferred, engagement postponed and attending to the results of our actions (learning) to be missed.

Untangling distraction from confusion and holding it while letting distraction go is a skill. It pays to learn it.

Further thoughts on confusion and distraction.

Prying one's fingers off the old is my first step. Sometimes the saying that "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't" plays repeatedly in one's mind, resulting in stuckness, an inability to move. Its actually a misconception that all potential devils are equal. Of course, some absolutely are scary and to be avoided. Taking an action that has the likely result of harming health certainly is.  Or acting vindictively, selfishly or ruthlessly is too. But when trying to take a step that is simply uncertain, holding potential that isn't fully formed or guaranteed, I've always found it's a bigger risk to do nothing.

A long-ago poem below is newly relevant: it's not possible to hold onto the old while trying to shape the new.

Wanting, Waiting, Wondering

Wanting, waiting, wondering.
Hanging on as the trapeze that is my life
Swings back and forth in an apparently unchanging arc.
On the other side opportunity, new perspectives, excitement beckon.

Wanting, waiting, wondering.
What does it take after years of back and forth
To risk, exert myself, reach out                                                          
For that bar swinging toward me?

Wanting, waiting, wondering.
Deep breath, concentration, timing.
Now in the air, unprotected, reaching for the future -
Timelessness and space

 A firm grasp and I'm there.

 Copyright Paula T. Bartholome, 1998

Photo credit: lifehacker.com.au

Time Off for Thinking

It's been quite a long time since I've posted anything. I've been stuck. Trying to figure out which way to turn and what's next in this life. Having rebooted and redefined myself multiple times, each time thinking it's the last, it's rather surprising to find that I'm about to do it again. But that's what's on the horizon. After fruitlessly trying to hide from Life V. 11.0 - yes, when I sat down and figured it out it will be the eleventh time I've picked up and started over in some way - I am now, as they say, "leaning in."

While I don't know what this version is going to be just yet, I can only say that it feels good to claim it. And I'm looking forward to discovering where this new journey leads. More later.