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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Whatever's available



I've had pasta sauce on my mind for a couple of days now, so decided to make some. I was determined not to go to the grocery, but to make the sauce with what I had. I was delighted to find that I had put away a whole bag of onions (crucial to pasta sauce for me) and of course I had plenty of tomatoes that I'd canned. So I dived into making what is a true comfort food for me. The aroma of pasta sauce simmering on the back burner for hours is delightful on a cold, snowy day. And the fact that I made it with what I had (substitution is a fine art that should be embraced) was even better.

Growing up pasta sauce was made a very specific way with ground beef and while I still like that version, if you don't have ground beef, you can still make the sauce. I know my mother wouldn't think so, but you can. It won't taste the same, but if it tastes good, isn't that ok? Not that traditional tastes should be left behind, they shouldn't! But we can be creative and economical and make tasty food without having to go to the grocery for special ingredients all the time. Eating from the pantry and the freezer makes so much sense to me. It's an enjoyable challenge to see what results and if it makes sense to document the recipe or continue tinkering.

Today's effort is on the recipe page.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

A year of "yes"

A conscious choice....

It's not something that I can take credit for thinking up. And I'm not sure where I even ran across it as an idea. But it feels right and I'm ready!

Ta-da!

Next, year - 2013 - is going to be my year of "yes." What is that, you ask? It is saying yes, when I would have said no. Taking chances that I would have avoided. Experiencing things that I've been so sure I don't like, don't want to do. It is the opposite of the life of "no" that has been part of me for so long. The "can't" the "shouldn't" the "won't work" and the "I don't." All the sureness that I had about what just wasn't who I was is gone. Pitched out the window and replaced with an openness to possibilities (even those ones that seem questionable) that could lead to who knows what?

It's not about anything more than living life to the fullest by embracing the real me. A me that somehow got lost a long time ago and who is finding her way back to the surface.

So what are some things I've recently said "yes" to in my warm up to my year of "yes"?

  • Sticking with a class (as a student) that would have been easier for me to drop. 
  • Dropping a class that would have been financially safer for me (as an instructor) to continue.
  • Agreeing to travel to a work meeting that would have been easy for me to avoid.
  • Agreeing to take on responsibilities that cause me to step waayyy outside my comfort zone.
Yet, all these things feel good. Right. Like growing into more competence and peace and away from anxiousness and doubt. I can't wait to see what other yes opportunities lie ahead. If it works, then the year of yes may become my way of being and not just another New Year's resolution. 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Another year...




It's almost time to turn the calendar page to yet another new year. Have slipped over the top of the mountain quietly and as I tread down its far side, I find it remarkable that this journey, this life, has been what it has. In so many ways nothing at all like I think my parents would have expected for me - or maybe even hoped and wished for me. But they couldn't have seen what the world has become. Its interconnectedness and complexity. Yet the things they could envision are things I want. I want a simple life, good food, good friends and roof over my head. But the way in which I have managed to acquire and hold on to these things, that is where I think my parents' dream for me and my dream of my own life parted ways.

They were traditionalists and expected me to marry, settle down, raise a family and live my life. I was non-traditional from their perspective (no matter that I probably fit well in my own time) in that I pursued a career, stayed single, traveled around and, based on feedback I've received, was considered successful. But funny thing, aside from that "raise a family" hope they held, the life I live now is probably exactly what they would have expected me to do from the start. But I couldn't. Wouldn't. Didn't.

Maybe what I wanted changed. Maybe I only wanted something totally different from my parents' life simply because that life didn't seem exciting. Whatever happened, I find myself discovering with every turn of the calendar page to a new year that I see more value in the way they lived than I could see before, and am consciously choosing it. And will most likely continue to do that until I'm fully down off the mountain.