Thinking about the future

Recently I've been out of sorts. Down in the dumps. Anxious. The space between my ears has been occupied by thoughts I try to keep at bay, but every so often, they assert themselves and make me, well, miserable.

Some thoughts are personal, ones we all have (at least I assume everyone has them...) as we go through life and lose loved ones, lose things with age, lose opportunities we no longer have sufficient time to take advantage of, or lose the desire to do what we once wanted to do. All that is manageable in doses. But once in a while a tsunami of these things collides with the global issues that also occupy my head space. Things like climate change, soil loss, broken food systems and the like. When that collision occurs I come to a screeching halt. What's the point, I think to myself. What's the point of trying to do anything? We're doomed - individually and together. Fortunately there are people who view the world from a more "half full" perspective than I can in those moments. But, I say to myself, it's still a half full view. I don't know anyone who is unabashedly optimistic about the future. Is there anyone out there whose glass is totally full and who honestly sees it continuing to be that way?

Like everything, this too will pass. But there is a sadness hanging about, even when enjoying a meal with friends or being inspired by others who share my world view who are working to make their communities better, more resilient places. I know doing nothing isn't an option. It only helps ensure my worst fears are more likely to be realized. But putting on a game face and getting back out there and working can feel like a fool's errand when I'm in my miserable place.