Reflections on a Changing World

Image credit: The Subversive Lens Facebook page. I just became aware of this writer.

Back in March, when the idea of what a pandemic meant hadn't yet sunk into my consciousness, I was afraid of what I didn't understand. It has been my nature to believe that things will work out well, to avoid disturbing news and at the same time to feel responsible for everything and fear anything I couldn't control. Needless to say, it was a difficult balancing act. 

When I began to grasp the pandemic's enormity, I fluctuated between feeling like self-isolating was really not much different than the way I had chosen to live and a total, all-encompasing fear. I had always lived simply and privately so self-isolating wasn't going to be hard. But it was. I was afraid of so many things that not knowing "the answer" on any subject about how to live through the pandemic was paralyzing. Now, more than three months into things, my anxiety has receded, replaced with a growing bit of resolve. I am grateful for my familiar way of life even with its new restrictions. 

This time of Mother Nature firmly kicking our global butts with a pandemic has caused the fragile systems that were holding us together as a country to fray alarmingly. Political systems, health systems, racial inequity, climate change, economic inequity, social support systems, educational systems and more, each in need of attention and overhaul. And the timetable of need so out of sync with the timetable of the possible. Yet, what else is there to do but to press on? Giving up is not an option although getting tired is guaranteed. 

I don't presume to have "answers." At the same time my North star remains a future that is fair, healthy and sustainable. Maybe I'm asking for too much, but maybe we - all of us - haven't expected enough of ourselves in the past. Maybe we've waited quietly for others to fix problems we saw. Or looked away when seeing was inconvenient or disturbing. For sure everyone can't do everything, but each of us can learn more about existing problems and engage more to better the situation. Some changes may come in bursts, others may be incremental. All contribute to moving along the path to that North star. Yes, it's going to be exhausting.

The Opportunity in Garbage

Food in a dumpster. Photo credit: Wikipedia's Food Waste page.

By reframing a situation, you can see it in a new light. You take the situation’s facts and place them in a different frame in which they fit equally well, thus changing the entire meaning. It works, and dear reader, there is an opportunity to do that with garbage.

The common statistic about food waste (going to either compost or landfill) in the United States is that it’s an appallingly huge amount. We waste nearly half of what is grown to eat; a full 40% according to the National Resources Defense Council. Yet we have neighbors who are food insecure. Rather than eating healthily, they fill their diets with what they can, too frequently “fast food” or highly processed food because its available and affordable. This is a mismatch that mindful restaurateurs know exists and try to address.

A group of such Denver restaurateurs and folks who ran a demonstration project to reduce food waste talked about this at the Slow FoodNations event in July. They shared how they were reframing their situations to flip the facts of waste and food insecurity for the better. Of course, they didn’t expect to change everything, everywhere. But they are doing what they can, viewing the process as permanent incremental change. This constant focus on improvement brought to mind the quotes of anthropologist Margaret Mead (“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”) and author Edward Everett Hale (“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”).

One chef talked about how he looked at what he’d been trained to do in culinary school and in kitchens where he learned his craft. He was told much perfectly good produce was as something that should be trashed as “too bitter” or “not useful.” For example, parts of lettuce, onions, carrots and more. Once in his own restaurant and he started paying for them, he thought it crazy that “$75 worth of lettuce made about $5 worth of salads” so he found ways to use many of those “scraps” in creative ways to make dishes for diners. And there was the discussion of rather than looking at any remaining scraps as garbage to be sent to the landfill with other trash, as useful when diverted from the trash and repurposed into compost to circle back into more food production. And one of the big changes in those restaurant kitchens was recycling. Although not food, it was still a crucial part of the “out of sight, out of mind” mentality of throwing things in the trash. In fact, during the demonstration project, there was a dramatic increase in the diverting recyclable items from the trash to reuse.

At the beginning of the demonstration project, participating restaurants recycled between 15-20% of their trash by weight. By the middle of the month-long project, it had increased to 70%. And after the project, the demonstration project team – brave souls – hand-sorted the remainder of the trash and pulled out even more, increasing the recycled amount to 85-90% of the total trash generated. By reframing an item of “trash” to be a useful, valuable item that just goes in a different bin, they made a significant change.   

Visual aids were used to show that in a well-functioning kitchen, true “landfill items” or truly unsalvageable stuff should be minimal. Just the gloves workers were required to wear prepping food, the blue tape that is used to label containers of food with contents and dates, the stickers from fruits and vegetables and the occasional container that cannot be recycled or reused. Other than that, everything a well-run restaurant uses can be recycled or composted. Since food is ordered based on demand and cooked to order so there should be minimal actual waste. Home cooks out there, what can you do to reduce your waste? And by the way, lest you think restaurants are where the most reframing can be done, presenters pointed out that home kitchens waste more than restaurants even though when asked, home cooks are confident they waste less than others.

Reducing food waste is primarily a function of being conscious of the impact of waste itself and the ripple effect of food insecurity. There are multiple right answers to the question of how to do this. Some tips and thoughts that were shared for restaurants and those involved in the waste/compost business:

·      Break down barriers to composting by working with properly sized (liftable) bins that can be handled safely.

·      Create space for compost or recycling bins by removing newly unnecessary trash bins.

·      Get over the “that’s unusable” mentality; get creative to use more of an item.

·      Stop gravitating toward doing “what’s convenient” to doing “what is the thoughtful and challenging” way to handle the situation sustainably.

·      Rethink what is rotting in a dumpster – no one should be food insecure in this country.

·      They were adamant that people not let anyone say donating restaurant food is illegal. There is a federal law enabling it. See the BillEmerson Good Samaritan Food Act of 1996. 

·      Use “ugly” food. To be nutritious and usable, bell peppers don’t need four lobes as the USDA requires to be top grade. Using “imperfect” but perfectly nutritious lower grades reduces trash.

How can home cooks work toward zero food waste?

·      Plan meals and shop weekly.

·      Buy just enough fresh food, cook it and eat it.

·      Freeze any leftovers and then eat them.

·      Support efforts to use “ugly” produce at home and elsewhere. 

Yes, it takes time to live this way. But that goes to the advice to move away from creating the waste that convenience leaves behind in the first place. To be more deliberate. More mindful. To change the way you live, right now. Help shape a sustainable future where everyone has enough to eat. It doesn’t really seem unreasonable, does it?

Thanks to NPR.org for image. See related story below in the "confusion" link.

Untangling Confusion from Distraction

Confusion invites distraction.  Confusion - for me, the state of not being aware of and/or comfortable with what to do next -  isn't fun. I don't think it's fun for anyone. Spending time "what-iffing" is only so helpful. Often it leads to ruminating or being in a mental rut that blocks out productive inquiry or action. So when confused and beckoned by distractions, it's easy to say, "Sure, I'd love to spend a few minutes on something other that this thing that's making me unhappy/crazed/stuck (fill in your word...)." Then hours/days/months (fill in your word...) later, you look up and time has passed, confusion is still in the same place, solid and unchanged. If it's gone, you may find someone else made the decision for you, replacing the old topic with a whole new one.

In all candor, sitting with confusion is not something I gravitate toward. Confusion isn't comfortable and I want it over, gone. Being confused feels like I'm failing to figure out what to do and since we're all responsible for our lives, I'm failing at life. I've learned I feel this stuckness and reluctance to act because of things that happened to me decades ago when growing up, most likely not due to anything in front of me now. And intellectually I know that whether I like it or not, some things can't simply be thought through. They require engagement; they have to be lived and worked through. Acting with imperfect information, taking reasonable risks and possibly making a mistake, equal learning and progressing. Being distracted can cause decision making to be unnecessarily deferred, engagement postponed and attending to the results of our actions (learning) to be missed.

Untangling distraction from confusion and holding it while letting distraction go is a skill. It pays to learn it.

Further thoughts on confusion and distraction.

Prying one's fingers off the old is my first step. Sometimes the saying that "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't" plays repeatedly in one's mind, resulting in stuckness, an inability to move. Its actually a misconception that all potential devils are equal. Of course, some absolutely are scary and to be avoided. Taking an action that has the likely result of harming health certainly is.  Or acting vindictively, selfishly or ruthlessly is too. But when trying to take a step that is simply uncertain, holding potential that isn't fully formed or guaranteed, I've always found it's a bigger risk to do nothing.

A long-ago poem below is newly relevant: it's not possible to hold onto the old while trying to shape the new.

Wanting, Waiting, Wondering

Wanting, waiting, wondering.
Hanging on as the trapeze that is my life
Swings back and forth in an apparently unchanging arc.
On the other side opportunity, new perspectives, excitement beckon.

Wanting, waiting, wondering.
What does it take after years of back and forth
To risk, exert myself, reach out                                                          
For that bar swinging toward me?

Wanting, waiting, wondering.
Deep breath, concentration, timing.
Now in the air, unprotected, reaching for the future -
Timelessness and space

 A firm grasp and I'm there.

 Copyright Paula T. Bartholome, 1998

Looking backward and forward...

goodpixgallery.com

It's been a very long while since I posted anything. So long, in fact, that someone nice enough to comment on my last post had their words held in limbo until I released them. Sorry about that! Somehow time just slipped by (lame excuse but true) and I didn't get back here as frequently as I needed to. It's been a weird year in many ways. One of transition.

Planned letter writing (yes, paper and pen style) that started the summer of 2014 after a high school reunion dribbled into oblivion in the summer of 2015. I dropped the ball there too. My correspondent was diligent and kept her word to write. Plus her writing was ever so much more interesting than the "it's been hot here" or "sorry it's taken me so long to write back" kind. It was honest, dealing with emotions in a healthy way, and yet somehow it left me hollow. Not her fault for sure, but it couldn't live up to the kind of writing I was longing for. The kind that comes from someone who really knows you and has known you for a very long time. I was silly to expect that from someone who I last knew 45 years ago. But I knew her from grade school through high school so thought, perhaps...

Clearly it's my own impatience with telling my story to someone who doesn't know me that deep way that has tripped me up. I want them to already know everything so they can help me figure out the fuzzy parts. But those people - the ones who have that type of deep knowledge - if they exist for anyone, certainly are few and far between for me. An accident of life I suppose; people go away for various reasons or don't pay the kind of attention that we think they do. The dwindling number of those who remain over the years have imperfect memories. And the ones with the best knowledge who I should have asked long ago have died and taken their insights with them.

Maybe that's why over the past few months I've finally become able to lay down the expectation that there are definitive answers out there that, if I just get them, I will get it right. Know for sure. Really understand. Its long been time I've been carrying the expectation that scrutinizing the ambiguity that runs through my life, the gaps in memory, the unanswered questions, even sussing out the questions themselves will change the past. It won't. Can't. Of course I've known this, but it took me til now to be able to be done worrying with it. I finally accept the imperfectness of the past, of me and more importantly, of the future.

And I now understand that an imperfect past doesn't hold me prisoner any more than an imperfect future means it will be bad. I have the opportunity to learn and change. To improve. And that's really so much more interesting than trying to climb up onto and maintain one's balance on the shaky pedestal of perceived perfection. Maybe I should go back and dig out that last letter and answer it...

The price of healthy food

--> Everyone knows that healthy food is expensive. But why does it have to cost more for food with fewer additives, less processing and fewer food miles than it does to eat industrially produced food that is nutritionally questionable at best? It never made sense to me. And now I find there is a "fast food" restaurant just down the street that is healthy and locally sourced where possible.
Open less than a week when I visited, this little take-out storefront operation serves up a wide variety of freshly made wraps using good ingredients and many house-made items. The portions are generous and the food is really tasty. And it was surprisingly inexpensive. For less than $10 two people can have a nice lunch (excluding beverages) that is both well made and healthy. Yum. Let's do more of this, please.

Just as cooking at home doesn't need to be hard to do or fancy, this concept is simple at its core. Home cooking and healthy "fast food" both require focus, commitment and time. So there is a choice. What's yours?

Change that makes sense

One of the many posters in the Lexicon of Sustainability

An email landed in my inbox today from the folks at the Lexicon of Sustainability. I got acquainted with their work a couple of years ago and have been a fan ever since. They tell the story of sustainable food, growing, practices - you name it - so that people are using a common language when they talk. And hopefully, then, when they understand the issues they face. 

This poster on permaculture was explained as being a shift in thinking and living. A stepping back to see the really big picture. It said:

The word ‘permaculture’ comes from the melding of two words: ‘permanent culture’ and ‘permanent agriculture’,” points out Rhamis Kent. “It’s something that’s able to sustain itself by the very nature in which it’s constructed. As Bill Mollison says, ‘It’s the harmonious integration of landscape and people providing their food, energy, shelter, and other material and non-material needs in a sustainable way.’" Learn how permaculture is not just a sustainable agriculture method, but a lifestyle for many.

Makes sense to me.

More Than Enough

Recently I came upon a quote about gratitude. It knocked me down and picked me up. It was:

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. 

Why, yes it does. Maybe that's why those meals that are scraped together from whatever is around - some veggies and a little bulgar left to marinate and then sauteed - are some of the ones I enjoy the most. Unplanned tastes mingle together and may never be created exactly the same way again. Nothing is written down. It is just done and enjoyed. Ah....

I don't need "more." I need "better." With better I can make do with less because I truly enjoy whatever is better - the vegetables, the wine, the balsamic vinegar in the marinade. More is simply more. Better is better. And better trumps more every time in my book. 

I am grateful that I am able to live a simple life. That I have work that is meaningful to me. Even today's grey sky that keeps me inside and focused. Some things I'm grateful for I have worked hard to bring about; some happened with no input from me. But gratefulness is my conscious choice. 

Enough is enough. Not too much, not too little. Enough.

When Technology Doesn't Remember

My father, from a time before he knew I'd be around to look for him.

The last hour or so was spent looking for my father. More precisely, looking for his obituary online. I wanted to confirm his birthday and birth dates are always in obituaries. (Admittedly my not knowing this with certainty is another whole story.) His birthday was important because I was about to start something on the day I thought was his birthday, and being a bit of a magical thinker, it seemed to be an omen. Annny-wayyyy….

Without paying for the information, I couldn’t find it. Anywhere. After trying multiple search terms, by looking first for obits and then search by name, and everything I could think of, I was stumped. So I looked for my mother’s obituary. It was nowhere to be found either. Why? My father was referenced in his brother’s obituary. My mother was referenced in my half-brother’s obituary. So by association they were shown to exist. But suddenly, there was no evidence (at least none easily accessible and free) to directly document their lives.

In the past, such things would have been tracked in a bible in my family. My grandmother kept one up to date with such records as well as marriages, births and similar life events. I’m pretty sure my mother did the same. At least she did for a while. That slower time and the very act of writing down, carefully because this was a book that was going to be handed on to the next family record keeper, etched events and dates into memory. Now the pace of life and the very rush of all things - important and unimportant, big and small, memory-worthy and better forgotten - all jumble together. And it becomes easy to forget because there is always a record you can look at. Except when there isn’t. Or you can’t find it.

Time to stop relying so much on technology to do what it just feels right that my brain should be able to do. Remember and document important events in my life. Somehow that gene didn't get passed on. I hope it's not too late.